The Good

• Jesus - The Awkward Years -- Jesus' life (well, not really) as a goofy Archie comic, complete with lame laugh lines and bad puns (and a bit of sacrilege, if that sort of thing upsets you). Now if only its RSS feed weren't frelled.
• Outlook vs. Gmail—The Definitive Comparison [Lifehacker... -- This actually deserves a full post, but no time at the present. So, in the meantime, check out this review of using Outlook vs Gmail for your Internet mail client. I can't imagine using a resource hog like Outlook for that, but clearly some people find it useful.
• The Pope's interest in Lambeth -- You'd think that the Catholic Church would be salivating over snatching up all sorts of dissident conservatives from the current Anglican brouhaha, but evidently the Pope gets along well with the Archbishop of Canterbury, and has an interest in stability more than upping the Catholic rosters. Plus, y'know, folks who make lots of disturbance and question how the denomination is run and teaches aren't exactly high on the list of people the Pope wants to see ...
• The Archbishop of York -- Sounds like a cool guy.

The Bad

• Pocket watch gun -- TSA to ban all pocketwatches on airline flights -- film at 11.
• Dadburn gub’mint regulations! -- The free market is a great way, by and large, to encourage innovation and maximize net profit in a society. But just like Darwin's natural selection means you can end up with dangerous monocultures -- not to mention lots of dead bunnies and burnt-down forests and mass extinctions -- so too is it a Good Idea to have regulatory checks on the market to protect things that aren't included in "net profit," like health and safety and pollution and labor practices.
• Electrocuted -- As an example of the previous bullet ... As someone who works for an engineering firm with a strong safety culture, and someone who has a lot of respect for electricity, I find this apalling.
• He Said What? -- Evidently John McCain has forgotten all he once knew about operational security.

The Ugly

• Kid at your door with a sob story selling magazines?... -- All the more reason to smile, say you're not interested, and close the door. 
• Police smash car window to "rescue" reborn baby doll -- Creepy on many levels.
• Homophobic politician sends self-published comic book... -- Okay, he gets points for creativity (only to lose them all for being a jerk).
• Woman credits God for allowing bullet to hit only... -- I have my own theological problems with requests for intercessory prayer. I have more problems with ex post facto "God protected me" attributions, especially when it's a matter of a bad outcome that's "good" because it could have been worse.
• DeMint: Freedom of Speech Threatened by Disagreement -- Sorry, but having your speech criticized, objected to, or ridiculed is not "censorship" or "stifling" of your Freedom of Speech, unless it's the government that's doing it to you. If people think you're being a cretinous bigot (or even that your points are poorly stated and have many counter-arguments to them), that's what free speech is all about.

Filed under :: Big Business :: Elections 2008 :: Geopolitical Brouhaha :: Homeland Security :: Jokes :: My Computer :: Potpourri :: Religion :: ZT & PC
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It's already warm out, and it's not yet 5:30a.

1. Our Towns - Build a Wiffle Ball Field, and Lawyers Will Come... - as will the neighbors, the zoning officials, the police, and, oh yeah, some kids to play wiffle ball.
2. Look Lively! - I don't do enough online chatting to have a good sense of what I would use Lively for. But I'm sure it's useful for something ...
3. Shouts & Murmurs: Animal Tales: Humor: The New Yorker - What animals say to each other about us.
4. Watch Over Your Gmail Account Activity - New feature in Gmail will show where your account is signed in from, in case you left it running on more than one machine. Doesn't seem to detect Gmail from my Blackberry, but it's an easy way to track your IPs, and to secure yourself.
5. GOP Convention Platform Stokes Conflict - Usually nobody pays any attention to the party platform. But some of the folks worried about McCain's conservative creds are worried that me might modify with some of his wacky ideas.
6. McCain's Economists - Well, if 300 economists have signed onto McCain's economic plan, it must be a good one, right? Well, maybe ... if they really signed onto the plan.
7. California construction codes liberated -- now free... - What a concept -- public code documents acutually online and free, rather than subject to a $900 charge for a copy of them.

Filed under :: Elections 2008 :: Hi-Tech :: Jokes :: My Computer :: Potpourri :: ZT & PC
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Geek Epitaphs 

11. Born: 1337
      Died: 1337

10. I have become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

9. LAST POST!

8. I told you Wizard needed food ... badly

7. It's just a flesh wound.

6. Well, at least this is bigger than my cubicle.

5. Failed saving throw

4. Universe Man beat Person Man

3. It was indeed a good day to die (in Klingon).

2. No Seatbelt FTL

1. Dammit, Jim, he wasn't a doctor!

To which I'm tempted to add:

A. LEEERRROOOYYYYY ...

B. I am a leaf in the wind ...

C. Off to respec.

D. AFK BRB

Filed under :: Jokes
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Obama/Hillary and the Holy Grail ...

Filed under :: Elections 2008 :: Jokes
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Obama, Clinton, McCain Join Forces To Form Nightmare Ticket 

WASHINGTON—Presidential hopefuls John McCain (R-AZ), Barack Obama (D-IL), and Hillary Clinton (D-NY) announced Monday their plans to form what many Beltway observers have already dubbed the "2008 Nightmare Ticket," a calculated move that political analysts say offers voters the worst of both worlds.

After nearly a year of verbal attacks and negative campaign ads, the nominees announced that, for the good of the country, they were willing to push their differences to the forefront and grant the American people the ticket they've been dreading all along.

[...] "This nightmare ticket presents the American people with an unprecedented lack of opportunity in 2008," Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen wrote Tuesday. "For just one vote, citizens will get four years of McCain's brilliant temper, the incredible inexperience of Barack Obama, and the powerful two-headed monster of Hillary and Bill Clinton."

"It will be very exciting to see what they're capable of destroying, " Cohen added.

It's only satire ... it's only satire ... it's only satire ...

Filed under :: Elections 2008 :: Jokes
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It's an announcement right out of left field! Episcopal Church named "official denomination" of Major League Baseball:

As a part of opening week festivities, Commissioner of Baseball Bud Selig and Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori announced today that the Episcopal Church has been designated the Official Denomination of Major League Baseball. The move was announced today in a teleconference with reporters.

[...] Selig said that Episcopalians bring the right mix of arcane tradition, an appreciation of minutiae and a tolerance for long stretches of relative inaction that make them "a good fit for us."

"We believe that Episcopalians understand the nuances of the game and won't meddle with our traditions too much."

(Emphasis mine)

Plus, we have a fondness for seasonal activities and pretty uniforms!

Filed under :: Jokes :: Media - Sports :: Religion - Episcopal Church
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This just got released today -- GMail Custom Time. Now you can send pre-dated e-mail to other folks through GMail. The mail will appear in their mailbox with the earlier date/timestamp, optionally flagged already read. Result? When Grandma bugs you about having missed her birthday, you can say, "I sent you an e-mail about it -- didn't you see? Go back and look!"

As with all GMail features, it's a Beta, and you can use it up to ten times per year. It's not clear how long this feature will be offered (perhaps only for today), so check it out!

Filed under :: Hi-Tech :: Jokes
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While playing Galactic this afternoon, some conversation about alien probes reminded Randy of an old comedy bit which I immediately remembered, too -- the "Rigid Sigmoidoscope" routine done by the late comedian Dennis Wolfberg (who died in '94 at the age of 44 of melanoma). 

Well, through the blessings of YouTube, I give you a three-part Dennis Wolfberg set (1, 2, 3), recorded in 1990 (the year he won the American Comedy Award for best male stand-up); the Sigmoidoscope piece is in the third installment, Randy.

Triffic stuff. Would have loved to have seen him live.

Filed under :: Jokes :: Media
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Creepy Google Maps ...

Filed under :: Hi-Tech :: Jokes
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A fellow who's vacationing in Poland during the holidays is auctioning the opportunity to drive someone crazy:

During the course of my holiday I will send three postcards to one person of your choosing.

These postcards will be rant-ravingly insane, yet they will be peppered with unmistakable personal details about the addressee. Details you will provide me.

The postcards will not be coherently signed, leaving your mark confused, guessing wildly, crying out in anguish. "How do I know this person? And how does he know I had a ferret named Goliath?"

Your beloved friend or relative will try in vain to figure out who it is. Best of all, it can't possibly be you because you'll have the perfect alibi: you're not in Poland. You're home, wherever that is, doing whatever it is you do when not driving your friends loopy with international mischief.

Further muddying the tracks, two of the postcards will be from 1995-96 (though obviously not postmarked then), just like (if you want to play it up) they'd been lost in some Polish post office since then.

Your mark will be at a complete loss, desperate for answers, debating contacting people he or she hasn't talked to in years.  "I know this will sound weird," they'll say, "but by any chance were you in Eastern Europe ranting about cantaloupe... twelve years ago... right before some show with Mariel Hemingway debuted?"

Excellent.  Reminds me of a similar prank pulled on me a few years back.

Bidding is currently over $200.

Filed under :: Jokes
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