Oh. My. God. LotR as a bad D&D game. This stuff is a hoot.
PC2: Is this debacle over yet? PC1: Almost, man. It's really wounded, but I'm down to my last few hit points. We beat each other up swimming for a while, then climbed a bunch of stairs, and now we're on the top of the mountain. PC2: Oh, brother. DM: It hit you again for... (roll dice, cheat on result) 5 points of damage. PC2: 5 points! It's supposed to be a balrog! PC1: Shut up. I'm at negative 1. Can I take one last swing? DM: Umm, sure. PC1: Hit! And 8 points of damage! Hoody hoo! DM: Wow - you killed it! It falls off the cliff - 7d6 points of falling damage - PC2, sotto voce: winnnnggggsss.... it has wings! DM: - and collapses on the mountain below you. PC1: Yeah! In your face, balrog! I collapse back into the snow. DM: Roll some stabilization checks. (roll, roll) You failed them ALL? PC2: Hah! PC1 (miserable): Yeah. DM: Hey, I know! You get all the balrog's experience points, right? So that puts you up a level, giving you more hit points, and you don't die! PC1: YES! Hahaha ... I'm unstoppable. Mage with a sword, baby! Balrog-bane! PC2: You guys suck. I'm going home. PC1: I'm putting all my new skill points in animal empathy, ride, and disguise (evil wizard).
(via SfAD)
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The wings worked fine back when he was a young maia and roughly Gandalf's size, but Morgoth was always on him to bulk up, put on some more muscle, don't worry about the steroids -- everybody uses them....
Heh.
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