I'm not going to be watching, but if I were, I'd certainly want something like this to entertain/numb me:

1. Every time Bush mangles a word that he, as President of the United States, should know. ("Nyuklear" excepted.) [1 shot]
2. Every time Kerry utters a sentence that, transcribed, would require more than ten commas, two semi-colons, and/or a paragraph break. [1 shot]
3. Every time Bush gets a folksy grin on his face. [1 shot]
4. Every time Kerry sounds like he's trying to channel FDR or (the original) JFK. [1 shot]
5. Every time Kerry mentions Viet Nam. [1 shot]
6. Every time Bush mentions the National Guard. [2 shots]
7. Every time Kerry mentions "our allies." [1 shot]
8. Every time Bush mentions "The War on Terror." [1 shot]
9. Every time Kerry mentions the United Nations. [1 shot]
10. Every time Bush mentions "The Axis of Evil." [1 shot]
11. Every time either of them mentions a letter they got from an American citizen. [1 shot]
12. Every time either of them mentions a previous president. [1 shot]
13. Every time either of them mentions a previous president of the other party. [2 shots]
14. Every time either of them mentions a previous president who would have crossed the street to avoid being associated with them. [3 shots]

Like I said, at the very least you'll be laughing uproariously by the time it's done. Or, alternately, looking for a bridge to jump from.

UPDATE: Well, here's another set of rules.

Filed under :: Elections 2004
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Drinking Game rules are a paradox (he says, putting way too much thought into them). You want to:

... give small points to common quirks.
... give big points to uncommon quirks.
... give big points to particularly egregious quirks.

The latter two are sort of like the conflict in the "Run over the pedestrians" game -- do you award big points for running down a jogger (who is a difficult but commonplace) or a granny (who is an easy but outrageous target)? In that game you can get around it for giving "difficulty" points to the former, "style" points to the latter. Not sure how to finesse that in a drinking game, though (beers and shots?).

Man under either version you'll end up stinking!!! Maybe I'll just read it in the paper tomorrow since I'll be at work and don't want to drive home drunk!