I hate to make any grand conclusions about the election, while so much stays up in the air, but ...

1. Hrm. As of this writing, it looks like the Republicans will pick up two extra Senators and five extra Representatives. If they also pick up the White House (as it looks as well, though nobody's calling it that way yet), that's way too much power in the hands of one party (I don't care what party it is).

2. Good Lord, what does it take, a stake to the heart to get rid of this guy?

3. With luck, though, Alan Keyes should be washed up as a national political figure.

4. On the other hand, at least it's over.

More detailed post mortem in the morning.

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And, for the record, none of the following Grand Conspiracy Theories seem to have occured:

• "The Saudis will manipulate oil prices so that that prices at the pump are way low by the time of the election, thus ensuring a Bush victory." (Nope. Actually, they're back up pretty high, and it's news when oil is dropping below *$50* a barrel.)

• "OBL will be 'captured'/killed, as an "October Surprise," though we all know that he's been kept under wraps for the past several months, while Karl Rove waits for the right opportunity." (Instead, he popped up with a new videotape. Unless the videotape was made of him while in US custody. In which case, he's a dead man, which is not necessarily a bad thing.)

• "US troops will pull back from any major operations, in order to keep the casualty count down around the election." (Nope, major operations continued in Fallujah, etc., giving plenty of body-count fodder for the headlines.)

• "A terrorist attack will occur, which will give the Bushies an excuse to declare martial law, nullify the election, and maintain power forever." (Heck, we didn't even get the Terror Level raised!)

• "Massive voter disenfranchisement will secure a GOP victory." (Glitches, yes, but nothing systemic or, as of my current hearing, of significant size to have affected the election.)

Either the Evil GOP Cabal is far more subtle and devious than even the Lefties' worst nightmares, or else they've really proven to be a bunch of bumblers. How they could have let the election run so close, when a satisfyingly massive victory could easily have been manipulated is beyond me.

Filed under :: Elections 2004

The Grand Old Party's conspiracy masters are much, much, much more subtle than you realize. Have you checked the fillings in your teeth lately?

(...the sound of "X Files" theme song fills the air...)