Oh. My. God. LotR as a bad D&D game. This stuff is a hoot.
PC2: Is this debacle over yet?
PC1: Almost, man. It’s really wounded, but I’m down to my last few hit points. We beat each other up swimming for a while, then climbed a bunch of stairs, and now we’re on the top of the mountain.
PC2: Oh, brother.
DM: It hit you again for… (roll dice, cheat on result) 5 points of damage.
PC2: 5 points! It’s supposed to be a balrog!
PC1: Shut up. I’m at negative 1. Can I take one last swing?
DM: Umm, sure.
PC1: Hit! And 8 points of damage! Hoody hoo!
DM: Wow – you killed it! It falls off the cliff – 7d6 points of falling damage –
PC2, sotto voce: winnnnggggsss…. it has wings!
DM: – and collapses on the mountain below you.
PC1: Yeah! In your face, balrog! I collapse back into the snow.
DM: Roll some stabilization checks. (roll, roll) You failed them ALL?
PC2: Hah!
PC1 (miserable): Yeah.
DM: Hey, I know! You get all the balrog’s experience points, right? So that puts you up a level, giving you more hit points, and you don’t die!
PC1: YES! Hahaha … I’m unstoppable. Mage with a sword, baby! Balrog-bane!
PC2: You guys suck. I’m going home.
PC1: I’m putting all my new skill points in animal empathy, ride, and disguise (evil wizard).
(via SfAD)
The wings worked fine back when he was a young maia and roughly Gandalf’s size, but Morgoth was always on him to bulk up, put on some more muscle, don’t worry about the steroids — everybody uses them….
Heh.
LOL.