From Top5's Little Fiver Food list for 26 August ...

The Top 9 Things Every Kindergartner Knows About Food
9. If it tastes really yucky, the teacher knows a song about how great it is!
8. In a pinch, glue is an acceptable condiment.
7. Absolutely everything tastes better with chocolate syrup or ketchup on it.
6. Most blue food you find in the fridge will make the puppy sick.
5. Mom's M&M cookies are worth two sandwiches and a dead frog.
4. Dr. Pepper supplies the best on-demand burps.
3. Homogenize is what happens when it comes out your nose.
2. Your dog, your cat and your one-year-old brother all look the same eating peanut butter.
... and the Number 1 Thing Every Kindergartner Knows About Food ...
1. Happy Meal french fries last longer than the Happy Meal toys. But the toys taste better.

via Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL (1), Ken Stone, San Jose, CA (2), Jeff Morris, South Salem, NY (3), Kevin van Houten, The Colony, TX (4, 5), Christa Grunewald, Manhattan, KS (6, 8), Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY (7), Bill Ervin, Tigard, OR (7), Sue Raskin, Palm Harbor, FL (9), Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI (Wearer of the Big White Hat)

And, of course, there are the runners up and honorable mentions:

Somehow eating all the food on your plate helps those starving kids overseas. (Sue Raskin, Palm Harbor, FL)
Plain peas suck. Peas mixed with gravy and pudding ROCK! (Mark Sweatt, Marietta, GA)
Gravity is stronger when the juice you're drinking will stain the rug. (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)
If you EVER eat anything a girl has touched you'll DIE! A lot! (Jim Bannon, Simian Hill, MD)
Most foods can be used as fingerpaints when necessary. (Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH)
How much you want to eat an item of food is inversely proportional to how much your parents want you to eat it. (Johan Dartarus, Chapel Hill, NC; Joe Terranova, Lake Orion, MI)
Nothing contaminates your meal more than putting broccoli on the plate, because broccoli is the tool of the devil. (Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY; Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH)
Mashed potatoes are the best food fight food. (Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY)
Peanut butter and hair don't mix well. Unless you're using the peanut butter to get bubble gum out of your sister's hair. In that case, science rules! (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Paste at home is gross, yet paste at school is tasty. I guess Mom's right -- it is more fun to eat out. (Bill Ervin, Tigard, OR)
If it comes from home or the cafeteria don't eat it. If it comes from art class, the ground or your friend's lunch bag, it's okay! (Steve Lunetta, Tucson, AZ)

Filed under :: Jokes :: School Daze
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