Finally happened. Some yahoo is suing fast food companies because they made him fat.
“They dragged me off the street at gunpoint,” Caesar Barber, 56, reported. “They held the gun to my head and then they cut open my skull, carved out a big chunk of my frontal lobe, and replaced it with a machine that took over my body and made me eat fast food, morning, day, and night, and think it was healthy for me.”
No, what Mr. Barber really said was that he was fooled into thinking that fast food was healthy, and that 100% beef meant it was good for you. If only there had been warning labels on the packages, he (and his lawyer) claim, he wouldn’t be overweight, with heart trouble and diabetes.
Take. Responsibility. For. Your. Life.
It’s not like the fast food industry has been saying french fries are good for you. Or has been fronting scientific research claiming that there’s no link between Double Quarter Pounders with Cheese and cholesterol build-up, even as they were internally quashing research that said the opposite. Or has been placing a secret, addictive ingredient inside of their cheese slices to make going “cold turkey” a bitch. That’s the sort of crap that got tobacco in trouble.
Anyone who thinks that eating fast food is a healthy lifestyle frankly deserves to keel over from a coronary. Just don’t get between me and my fries, man. I know what choices I’m making when I pull into the drive-thru. I know I’m taking responsibility for what I put in my body. It may be a foolish choice, but I recognize that it’s mine to make.
Rrrg.